June 21, 2009
order of events
grocery shopping; picked up delicacy for impending camping trip (for nostalgia’s sake) Note: this was in addition to essentials for s’mores.
brought in mail
surprise!
read spiffy, stylish, snazzy, spectacular S newsletter rather than setting it aside “for later”
group mentioned, although without acronym
and I think this was on Jeopardy! last week, too… and none of the contestants answered correctly–but I did
June 19, 2009
Bringing out the tapes during short trips in the planetary body.
Solid workout at PT today. Ended my session on the treadmill. I think this was my first time on one. I was thinking of the music video with the choreographed ‘millers (was that OK Go or a band named something like that?)
Other exercises took me back to doing the bear/crab walk on all fours in elementary school gym. I used to get up from the floor by sticking my behind in the air and walking my hands and arms until I could raise my upper body. It was amazingly effective! At an in-patient therapy session, just before I was released, I figured I’d never do that again. Now it seems within reasonable reach. Just like that (snap!)
I probably wouldn’t have tried this for months. Now, I know some safe exercises to build more starting now. I think I had been using the same exercises, since 1996, to regain balance, walking, and strength. I’d notice functional improvements, but this time around, I am more aware of individual and groups of muscles that are getting to be part of the action. What really rocks is tapping into the mind-set I had in my days of youth sports. That’s the intangible on top of the primary benefits.
June 16, 2009
My socially awkward moment of the day came when I took my trash out. The dumpster rests on a platform that is a standard curb height. I used to just use the dumpster as a balance reference, but when I went out with just my cane, it was not pretty trying to lift the dumpster lid ~and~ throwing in my small bag. So I took my walker the last time and it was much safer (and I don’t know if I looked smooth doing it, but I felt like I did). Sooo, I actually looked forward to using my walker this time (it’s great stability for a single step with no railing AND fits perfectly on the lip of the platform). As I stepped down to cross the parking lot, a new neighbor from an adjacent building was exiting her car, 20 feet from the dumpster. She ended up lifting the lid for me. It was quite kind of her. In the moment, though, it surprised me. I am improving in strength and doing more generally, but before going out, I had consciously gone through my action sequence (like a seasoned athlete), which is how I knew to take the walker. It’s funny, but I was kind of disappointed I didn’t get to play the game I had just prepared for (insert any of numerous sports analogies here)–and I said something to the effect of the walker enabling my independence, and then caught myself and said a sincere thank you instead of rambling when I wasn’t sure whether she had said anything else. The dumpster lid is unwieldy, afterall… and now that I think of it, she very well could have saved me from a fall. I’m not afraid of falling, but I’m well aware of the disastrous immediate and delayed consequences on us folks with neurodegenerative disorders.
This kind of stuff isn’t really new. I’m just writing more to be writing. And if you have Big Brain Academy Wii Degree, and want to compete/assist me with my cognitive rehab, then drop me a comment or email. If you made iþ this far, I figure you are so inclined.
June 16, 2009
Don’t ask me where the song came from. I’m cleaning, and should have tunes on, but I don’t. I guess it’s good at this point in my recovery to allow my brain to wander musically. (I think I would have done much better in the hospital if I had had music… And not been bombarded with the flickering of TVs… but hey, here I am now, and the third time is where I’ve used my lessons from the last two surgeries–once my mind was allowed to come back around.)
I winnowed down my socks. I still have two pairs of patterned long socks that weathered the way through my mom’s and my teenage years. They don’t make them like that anymore! (I am selective when I wear them now because they are getting thin…)
I usually wear things beyond a condition anyone would want them, but I’m donating a thousand new/almost new hospital footie slippers to charitable orgs–and I still have a hundred for gifts and personal use. It’s unfortunate I’m not craftier with sequins.
June 13, 2009
I’m not sure if that’s actually a word. A film with aspects and balance that resonated quite strongly with me (along with the city locations it features):
August Rush.
Do you have any recs? I’m especially lacking in comedies that are quirky, but no need to set limits.
June 11, 2009
Today
First time rising unassisted from a low (standard height) household toilet seat since February. I’ve had higher seat extensions and railings since mid-May and am pleased with this development because it’s indicative of more general improvements–AND because I didn’t try to rush it.
First time ever using one of those electric scooters at a store. And rock–it served doubly: first allowing conservation of energy so I had it for the toilet acrobatics (and to clean up after ANOTHER JUNE BIRTHDAY meal and cake), and secondly as a test drive before my real driving assessment in early July. I’m simply happy to be alive, of course. Being able to drive is a great bonus–especially considering my locale, age, and status. The scooter is nifty. My reluctance to use many things (including accessible parking spots and doors in the past) stems from knowing “use it or lose it” rings true to some extent, as well as continually rediscovering shifting boundaries and limits.
June 9, 2009
I love how the processes feed into and out of one another!
June 7, 2009
I had surgical follow-up MRI and visit with my NS in Indy last Mon., as well as eye work-up with my neuro-opthalmologist (and several delightful residents, interns, etc).
Largest brainstem tumor stable (news to us all!) and Dr. Witt very happy with my condition post-op this last meningioma removal. Great to see function and strength markedly improved–and especially cognitive and language areas coming back. The lesion was very large, extending on both sides of internal ABI components, and evidenced by the length of the incision. My optic nerve tumor is partially hidden on scans by other things in my head, so we are going mainly by symptoms to assess the status of that. I am to watch for changes in my peripheral vision, especially. Back in a year.
Eyes are generally good. My left one has dry spots, so I’ll stay confidently vigilant on using drops. (I did ask about the larger containers of drops and the gels with the “disappearing preservative.” Confirmed again: it’s the build up over time of the preservatives, as well as increased risk of infection that makes the individual vials I’ve been using since the mid-90s the wisest choice for addressing the more mechanical root (incomplete and irregular lid closure)–AKA warped windshield wiper effect–of my chronic dry eye.) Dr. Yee reiterated that we can’t see tumor to assess because of ABI, but my peripheral vision is great (I aced a new vision field test–and boy has that technology come a long way since the 80s when they were mapped by hand). He also put in drops to confirm that the lower vision score in left eye was from the dry spots and not related to my cataracts. Back in 6 .mos.
June 3, 2009
Developments left and right–literally and figuratively. I need to turn in for the night, but I wanted to share the general upward trend!
Laughter is still the main key.
May 30, 2009
Back to dependence on communication for cognitive ability assessment — such a one-way dynamic; tester’s influence on responses (superfluous comments on expectations and levels of difficulty; nervousness or anxiety of tester when administering it verbally; incomplete instructions. Lack of alternative formats reducing reliability — violates model assumptions to a sig degree.
Language so fundamental. Prominence of translation. Diff areas of brain for processes–affects timeline after physical insults for coordination and quick switching in rehab tasks. And then whoosh! (For maybe parts… Yet family and therapists still hold impression of individual during compressed frame of prior time–THAT is where the most flexibility in thinking is required.
We all, always have much to learn, in different ways and domains. And there’s no reason it shouldn’t be enjoyable. (More an interpretive issue there… the learner’s decision to make a task fun–and have an inducive environment to act.)
May 28, 2009
Yesterday wasn’t my first unassisted shower since March–that happened two days prior. Yesterday (cue music) was just the first standing and using the grab bar instead of my old tendency to use the wall as an intermittent touchstone/balance reference. I didn’t know if/when it would be possible, but just made the attempt when I felt ready and receptive to a positive outcome–even though I realize I need a chair or bench to clean my toes-and-in-between as well as I should!). I’m trying to do things on my own, but don’t read that as being set on such: I am in full favor of aids and assisted living arrangements (Mutual benefits–and I think the social aspectz are huge, yet largely neglected in policy considerations due to the difficulty of quantifying them in a standard way). As much as I enjoy and appreciate freedom of movement and “independence,”* I have learned through experience that conservation of energy can be key to productivity of many kinds–and go ahead and extend this to higher scales, but at the basic individual level, the benefits are readily apparent to me (as is the necessity of inputs and outputs to forestall anomie), while access is still largely obscurred, or at least inconsistent depending on age, location, and a number of social/cultural/biological/economic factors. So much for equality. I know, I know, it’s a process and takes time. In it to be part of it. Whatcha gonna do about it? Because this affects us all…
*Independence is merely a matter of degree/what is generally acknowledged to constitute it–back to the power to define the situation… Independence as a degree of interdependence resurfaces here–as does the denial that characterizes those who would deny dignity and respect to self or others for needing assistance.
May 27, 2009
First unassisted shower and day of outpatient therapy sessions without wearing a hat. (This resulted in me being more chatty and outgoing. But then my post-op Self has been developing too… Don’t ask me to detangle it so early.)
I only needed help once, late in the day, to get up. Handled quite a few steps with walker unassisted.
Within the last several days, my mind’s been cranking more. I started some hypergraphic writings, but I’m gonna let things simmer like the good old days. Today’s cognitive testing (about which I have repeatedly quipped I’d rather be on the administering and tabulating/analyzing end!) included some reverse retention exercises, using spoken numbers. This is sorta like the ones in the Memory part of Big Brain Academy, but without the visual cues of the numbers, colors, and limited response set. And, I’m deaf and lipreading, so my mind’s working that extra OOMPH on the stimulus intake (brain focused on converting mouth movement instead of imagining/organizing the sequence). In any case, I extended that portion of the test up to 8 numbers. Fatigue started to play a big role because I’d done a number of the “name as many X (e.g. animals, names, things that start with letter _) as you can in a minute” items (which I am still inhibited in answering because it sorta feels like the scene in Ghostbusters yada yada yada).
Ok, so there’s a tiny slice of the action here from today.
May 23, 2009
To everyone. Words don’t do my gratefulness justice, so I’ll just try to reciprocate sooner-than-later!
I am coming along at an unpredictable pace. it seems so much got squeezed into the last three months/year.
TBC
May 17, 2009
I just started out-patient therapies again last week. I figured some pain in my leg was just new muscle forming. Or something like that. The swelling of my ankle and foot persisted, so I saw my GP, then was admitted to the hospital friday evening for an ultrasound–reminicent of the 1995 peroneal/tibial nerve tumor discovery but w/o the months of intensifying and then peaking symptoms to pre-shadow it. It turns out I have a few blood clots. (We also ran an MRI to rule out tumor/s.) Family members are relishing the op to stick me like a voodoo doll.
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