. . . HOT TUB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am there! I really like hot tubs. One of my nicest memories was a late Spring night in ’96. We were in California, nestled between mountain ridges. The moon and the stars shone brightly in the sky. The air was rather brisk, but the night was made perfect as we slipped off our clothes and slithered into the hot tub; the steam rising to caress our bodies, the sweet motion of the spa jets to take away the day’s pains from our arduous journey. Yes, boys, there was gold in them hills–gold!

(portions of the above passage are completely factual)

. . .

[8/2006: the context of this excerpt included some references to watching Seinfeld at 12:30am, so I am assuming that J. Peterman catalogue-speak was fresh in my mind]