“The uncertainty is what holds the story together.” —Paul D. Miller, AKA DJ SPOOKY THAT SUBLIMINAL KID

Several months ago, I spontaneously chose a collection of music CDs from one of the world’s best public libraries. What I grabbed spanned across several racks/genres. I’m open to new sounds with my ABI–always searching and expanding, being receptive to something completely unexpected. Other things popped up, and I didn’t have a chance to listen to things repeatedly, like I pretty much need to for most things (with the exception of distinctive tunes I know well from before I went deaf–the ones I revel in naming without any hints/context*).

I have a tendency of knowing various things I like, when I see/hear/feel/experience them, but not having some label that allows me to explain what it is I like. (This is common, though not always with-respect-to-music; many people–including my much younger self–categorically exclude items from what they expose to themselves.)

I mix up what actually falls under one category with another and so on–particularly when it comes to music. It’s just how I am.

This tends to make it more likely that I stumble upon something, rather than find it because I’m actively searching for it. (Okay, I do that with books, art, movies, ….., too.)

Counting

the quick tip (or what generally works for me… something I do and didn’t realize I did so much until relatively recently–when I find myself counting out loud even more than just in my head–the “ONE, TWO, THREE __ UP!” I use to focus all my attention on getting up, down, out, and otherwise, so I’ve got rhythm and enough balance (grace?!) to keep my center of gravity within the forgiving zone that keeps me from crashing into unforgiving surfaces.) Compensations, adjustments… amazing, really!

By the way, I’m not a very good dancer. I’m not as self-conscious about it as I used to be–thanks largely to nephews who are happiest when I’m making a fool of myself, and therefore largely supportive of even sincere efforts to “dance well.” I must say that dancing’s more fun after becoming adjusted to an altered sense of space and movement ranges, than it was when I was an early adolescent. But, of course, there were many changes that were gradual, incremental. And for those I’m thankful. The difference between inhibiting a semi-particular state of existence and constantly changing. (Though I know we’re all constantly changing on some level…)

Ok, so just like music, art, poetry, and a lot of research out there:

it’s not always what is there that matters so much, but what it leaves for others to take from it, add to it, and that is up to each of us. When something’s new, it’s easy to see how a general guideline should come from it. (It’s what we know best at the moment, and the future presumably follows from, and is conditioned by, the assumptions of the present.) With some distance from the “Ah ha!” moments, more and more (overwhelming?) possibilities are there, if we’re receptive to considering them.

Those decisive moments, though–how many times do we decide, without realizing we’re “a decider?” And how many times do we think we’re at a defining moment, when it plays out that other factors are so much more important than a single thing we did?

* U2‘s “Mysterious Ways,” was the winning tune, most recently.

11/01/2006

Bugger! I did it again: Started with a specific thought projectory in mind, and took several tangents that put me somewhere completely different than where I intended. (Not a terrible direction, or anything like that, but I’m sure it’s not particularly pleasureable reading for others — and it failed to capture the serendipitous tag: The book that the CD with the quote, was collected on an additional trip to the same library, but different section — in a familiar topical area within non-fiction, and it pretty much jumped out at me while I was just glancing at the shelves. So that was really cool because I picked up the music CD first, thinking it was a cool name at least worth checking out. And then, without having any idea there was anything else related (by artist) in another medium, that existed, I found the book/pamphlet. It’s always SO MUCH cooler to get a glimpse of the thoughts behind the creations, not for the sake of legitimacy, but for the sake of imagination, perspective, a view from within the workings of other minds. (And there’s resonance in there…..)
In any case, this thing of jumping around, after I start talking about one thing, it happens a lot more when I’m talking with people. Sometimes I’ll realize I’m doing it, and be able to get back, but other times, I’m fairly sure, I leave a path of confusion and contribute to fragmented thoughts others have as hazards of interacting with me. (My mind was always highly relational (isn’t everyone’s?!), but there’s so much more that’s invented to make up for the “blind spots,” left by the gaps in common-sensical auditory information that’s collected in the space between having brainstem-stimulated hearing vs. the hearing that had the benefit of associating with the cochlea and auditory nerves prior to being processed by my brain. And, of course, there’s more — Scott Adams (Dilbert creator and “crazy talk, there can only be one wally,” and other great funny phrases generator, who’s been entertaining this freeDaily Dilbert” subscriber since the early 1990s), healing neuro pathways… (pssst! I’ve experienced this phenomenon, though with different manifestations of effects, from seven+ brain surgeries, and probably even more from the tumors that remain–which I’m cool with; my expectations are reasonable (most of the time).  It’s just neat to notice that Scott pretty much relaxed, experimented, and the body kind of took over with the unobservable gig that it does so well.)  Check out more of his writing–it’s good stuff, not over-hyped, and way funnier and more coherent than what I’ve been offering recently.  (baby steps….   wait!  There was a “What about Bob?” post I had in mind for blogging about.  Which Bob was that?!

Ok, I’m relaxing… maybe it will come back to me.

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