May 2007


“It’s kind of like a yo-yo with a string that varies in length when you’re just trying to allow it to unwind before pulling it in again.”

That pretty much characterizes my general status the last several days. (I have noted the dearth of little league action, which I shall remedy promptly.)

As far as ABI re-adjustment goes: I’ve refrained from cringing. Today, in the car, I noticed significant improvement in music appreciation. (I’m going with tried-and-true personal training tapes; read music from the 80s and early 90s.) Speech is very faint with this program (shoot–i forgot to email Kelly this week!). So be it, for now. Baby steps!

Existence. Direction. Strength. Non-monotonic!

I left the house for several hours, and returned, without realizing I didn’t wear a hat/cap. (Given, on my way out, I felt like I was forgetting something, but I practically always feel like I’m forgetting something, especially in the recent past.)

It is really funky how my hair’s growing back in. I’m not complaining…just admitting a truth.

Maybe I’ll get around to taking a picture tomorrow. Wait–today is tomorrow.

Yes, I’ve been quite surprised.

Yes, I’ve noticed that the hair on my shaved-again-this-year head seems to grow at a rate that is inversely proprtional to the outside temperature. (Nah, there’s not really proportionality to it… I’ve just enjoyed that pairing for a long time.)

Yes, I’ve been increasingly tempted to turn my cap inside-out, Cubbies rally-style, at my nephews’ little league games, when they are trailing in later innings.

Yes, I found it curious that the classic rock station had an Elton John song on, at the only time I tuned to it yesterday AND today. (Well, yesterday and yesterday’s yesterday).

Yes, my battery is low and I’m ready for some rest.

Ah, closing the day with the Turtles…

So here’s the deal: I experience a sensation that’s not within my usual repertoire when a noise falls within a certain frequency range. This is day 1 of using this program. Aside from a brief interval during which certain individuals exploited my vulnerability, for entertainment purposes, the day’s been productive and instructive. (More than in hearing apparatus respects, but that’s the focus of this post because it gets me back to a generalizable point I MUST keep reminding myself). It’s like the downpour/water snippet in Tom Robbins’ _Another Roadside Attraction_, which I should elaborate/explain, just not now.

Anyhow, after I got beyond anticipating the degree of discomfort that would accompany repeated classes of sounds, I realized I was either becoming accustomed to them, or in the least adding unnecessary tension over-and-above what would exist otherwise. So I’ll work on modifying that response tomorrow.

I’m ready to commision someone to come up with lyrics to the tune of “Napoli,” in honor of a certain green vegetable that breaks down into beautiful bite-sized florets.

… Again.

Sort of familiar scene, although I did not come so close to tears (those overwhelming physical feat/happy-yet-guarded ones) the first time, and I wasn’t hooked-up to an EKG machine this time.

I have sound once again. Wild! The elation of signals still getting piped through is tempered by how we’ve had to pull back quite a bit on my comfort/tolerance levels. I have a good deal of adjusting to do. Like I said yesterday, throw it in the pot and stir gently, patiently.

Still exploring what’s possible here. The roller coaster continues.

So far (a couple hours):
My voice irritates me. Quite a bit. Physically. I’ll need to practice talking to myself, which has never been a problem.

Paul Simon’s Graceland CD passed the basic recognition/enjoyment test in the car. Its not where it was, quality-wise, but much better than I expected!

I’ll have to relearn environmental noises, I think. Keyboard taps are easy to recognize, but I thought a motorcycle was behind me, while I was waiting for the parking garage’s elevator. Instead, it was a woman talking on her cell phone.

So much more going through my head, this fine May day. What’s new?

Wow. Did I say that already? Well go ahead and say it again.

Monday marks a significant day. A month ago, I viewed the event with some reservation. It was inadvertently rescheduled and I’m ready for it now. Or at least I think I am. Why not throw more into the pot, eh? But first, a grand weekend’s about to commence!

It is still so weird how simultaneously discontinuous and continuous life is. A bunch of junk from my distant past resurfaces in relevant and surprising ways. Form and content… and even newer sources.

Back to exercises!

Swings in energy and what I think I’m capable of are sometimes not enough of a reminder to pace myself. And then, I’ve also discovered “pacing,” sometimes means varying tempo, rather than trying to regulate it.

In a nutshell: I still don’t really know what I’m doing. I have committed myself to some staple balance and strength-building exercises.

Many thanks!

And yes, it may be time to bring back the signature line that epitomized* my undergrad years…

I think that my previous brain surgeries had me doing a lot of recovery on my body or on my mind. This most recent one, and related events, has been quite a bit of both, as much as I can tell so far. Weird, wild, unpredictable ride. “I have my moments.”

Thankfully, the adventure continues. I suppose I may fill in some more context as I become aware of it myself. Or whatever…

* epitomized popped in my head first… But then I 2nd-guessed. Without having to check thesaurus or change the word to ‘characterized,’ (because the hard C seems out of place there…), I’m just gonna assume, “you know what I mean.”