April 2010

Thur April 29, 2010 (day 1 of roofing; clearing of old shingles)(Too long for a status, and too late to fill in fun elaborations.)Wow–I suddenly feel more of my feet and toes and have more movement. Totally unexpected! Majorly helping balance, without cane, on the lawn and on unrailed steps. Best of all is playing some ball with C, D, and L (A. worked hard with the on-the-roof crew). I know my pitching was good because they were all hitting with the skinny bat! Priceless smiles.May ripples of healing continue to reach All. Our bodies, and the world, possess amazing capacities for resilience and renewal.

Arms and Hands!

And so it begins again. Another voyage of discovery, prompted by experience and unanticipated convergence. Compassion paired with analytical distance.

I gave him tennis balls and showed him some basic things he can do to regain strength and dexterity. I also predicted he would be able to juggle all three while riding his unicycle the next time I see him. ;-) His wife demonstrated the massaging potential before I suggested it. Keep moving. He is receiving PT at home, and they will probably give him thera-putty and show him a lot more he can do with soup cans, playing cards, coins, and similar household items. A lot comes back just through increasingly taking on one’s own self-care, and I still use my sheets from inpatient and outpatient speech/language, occupational, and physical therapy. His therapist will tailor his program to him, so I didn’t bombard him days before surgery. We should not do too much too soon. Everyone is the same in that we are different in our perceptions, reactions, and micro-level trajectories.

After another challenging steroid taper, I had great difficulty trying to lift and fold hand towels a year ago. Then, some starts and stops, and then all-of-a-sudden, a switch flipped, and I was maintaining my household again and passing the neuro rehab driver’s evaluation. Strength and energy continued to build. I ventured, and continue to reclaim my repertoire. I am amazed everyday at how much has, and continues to, come back for me (for the fifth time, from scratch, in this lifetime). Truly humbling; actions are grace. It wasn’t expected, let alone guaranteed. I honestly believe (still, after all these years!) everyone has a similar level of healing capacity–the time line and specific outcomes are just a giant question mark (and socially dependent, I must add). Survive the backsteps, and keep returning to what we are called to do, in whatever form possible. And plans propagate reality–the positive uncertainty. Fill that space. In flux of an influx. (I am on the cusp of bringing out M-word references coinciding with other movements, past and present.)

In what capacity do we serve best? Here, now.

I continue to think about many of our friends who need strength right now.

Even the external portions of my ABI are officially a part of me: I washed my face, put in my eye ointment, turned off the lights, and got all situated in bed, almost asleep, without realizing the microphone, transmitting coil, and BTE processor were still on my head. Talk about “Freedom!” I think this was a first in the two years I have had it.