At some point, the shift in perspective turns chronic illness into a focus on _chronic healing_. This is to be welcomed. With the choice, why would we not choose to view and fuel how we think and talk about living: in a way that orients us to receive and accept healing? (Make no mistake about it, what we accept, we also share in return.)

It no longer matters how rapidly we regain functions. We must devote our energies to the tasks at hand–not to just conventionally attending to presentation of self. (Many times, we are discovering and refashioning self, forging new paths.) This area of freedom from rigid expectations, no doubt, propels toddlers through their development. Exploration, familiarization with body and mind, and social influences are all essential.

It pains me to witness from afar, but I respect the interpersonal processes in motion. I am still learning how to alleviate a shared suffering that is particularly born where patience must learn to dwell. Respect and boundaries are important. I have erred on the side of advocating for my brothers and sisters, yet always with a profound sense of empathy for caregivers.

Truth of experiences

There’s so much more going on than can be observed or measured. How can “attitude” be assessed from point-of-view of individuals not dealing with the series of moments and circumstances, let alone the physiological underpinnings? Anyone thrown in to a pit, and constantly tested and assessed, without a release from scrutiny, needs moments when their loved ones are there, and elated, for existence. Our facial expressions and movements — many not even under our control, most others much more muted, possibly conserving energy for work sessions — are not the dependable, taken for granted mood indicators they used to be. Yes, it is out of love, concern, hope. We can acknowledge that, affirm those qualities, while channeling them in ways to empower all involved.

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