Undesirable Sensations


Needle stabs have returned to my head on top of fatigue. This is not cool.

All a matter of perspective. How many times do I repeat that?

Obviously, I’m well enough to type this. That’s worth something. And I’m able to enjoy the scenes around here (under observation, amongst family, thankfully). I may be one of the few folks not tired of the snow falling. So fitting, really. My head’s kind of cloudy and puffed… I feel weird for not wanting to read. I’m not particularly happy with the apparent swelling. I’m so discerning in taking meds–leaving them for last resort, hoping they’ll work when most needed. It’s a longterm thing. Always kinda optimistic about retaining some control over keeping options open. We do the best we can with what we have, right?

Yep, time to turn back outward. I hope you’re doing well. Maybe there’ll be some sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows around the bend here!

By the way, any recommendations for comedy movies available for home viewing?!

Weird week. I think it’s turning around. I hope. It was good to keep myself marginally fed. My poor head, though. I kind of figure that if the most distracting sensation is in a different area and of a different quality from day to day, then it means there’s room for adaptation.

Still kicking myself move of the week (MoTW)

I am habitual in my use of headlights in inclement weather (and in dusk/dawn settings). This stems from having been taught to drive by a professional truck driver. I’m not ritualistic about it, but I am turned off by people who drive with PARKING LIGHTS, instead of headlights.

It was Tuesday or Wednesday. I brushed more snow off my car and was going to drive around the block, mail some stuff, and then park in another spot to allow access to the tons of snow–pictures coming when I’m up to it–that had accumulated around my former spot.)

My eyes are sensitive to light, so I was wearing my sunglasses. They don’t usually fog, but of course they did this time. So I am heading down the lot with half-fogged visual field, and I suddently realize I can’t distinguish between the street and the lawn. Sometimes I look ridiculous because I can’t help it, or I really don’t mind being the subject of others’ amusement. But I do sincerely try to keep myself out of situations I can’t dig myself out of. I was also feeling kind of weird-inna-not-so-great way. Fortunately, I had the presence of mind to back up and pull into another parking spot. Mission aborted for the day. I’m big on turning off accessories (heat, radio, etc.), especially when exptreme cold is expected. Just habit.

Unfortunately, even in my weakened state, I was a bit too bright.

What did I neglect to turn off? (When I have bad days, and end up needing naps, I also tend to go without my ABI. This is fine in my apartment, but it renders auto audio alerts (for key-in-ignition or seatbelt, or for left-on headlights) useless. I needed one of the three.

The whole thing quashed my enthusiasm for the fluffy stuff, but I was fine once I retreated to a cuppa Swiss Miss French Vanilla hot cocoa. (And the planetary body recovered, too.)

Now to beat the weekend blast…

I was trying to figure out, aside from jackhammers working from inside my skull, how to describe today’s headache. It is reminiscent of kettle drums, but not in the sense of calm tympanies… No, this is at the climax of a grand, energetic movement. Only it’s not so grand after the conversion from triumph and exhilaration like the original score, to what amounts to a constant banging against my precious brain.

I still have not decided whether I prefer the constant pain like this, which I should eventually become accustomed to, and raise tolerance level still more. Or if the unpredictable, intermittent-though very sharp stabs allow me a better cushion to function.

These are the kind of days that slip and slide. But it’s like the homemade slip-and-slide we had as kids: the one my sister broke her thumb on because it got caught in an undetected hole in the tarp.