July 2008

A worthy read, with bonus IU Med School link:

_My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey_ by Jill Bolte Taylor, Ph.D.

How cool is that?!
At about the same time period, I also worked back from scratch (the first time after the first time we all share in common). Similar ways of envisioning healing and controlling reactions have been central to my experiences, but I never realized the physiological basis that determines the time between an emotional reaction being triggered, and then our decision to engage or allow it to pass (after 90 seconds). I’ve been quick to let go of instances of anger, going back to my late teens. I figured out the self-destructive nature of negative emotions rather early. (I was even amazed by my modest abilities long before any were lost to tumors or blood flow interruptions. The talk about bringing energy to life was my natural state since my colicky days, for mostly better and sometimes worse.)

More recently but many months ago, there have been instances when a situation flared up with a loved one. I was challenged, even when I was most compromised and not in a position to control/guide interactions, for insisting that I be allowed to be calm even after I had inadvertently contributed to others becoming enraged. When in a state of recovery, we’re most vulnerable to others defining the situation and privileging their perspective. To me, while I realized we were all growing frustrated by the situation, I acknowledged that I still had to watch out for myself. Yet, a sudden switch from escalating argument to disengaging for the sake of choosing an appropriate moment to broach the topic again, was interpreted as a detrimental change in my personality (despite the lack of an established pattern in my behavior from recent years). Yet in subsequent situations, after explaining things when emotions had calmed, I noticed how my behavioral response started to, once again and effortlessly, gain credence and guide others.

Ways of being.

Happy ( J ) bird day.