anomalous adventures

Enduring.

Good stuff so far. There’s so much tweaking I can do with four programs in my processor, plus sensitivity and volume adjustments over a good range. We’ll see how beneficial that is. With the BTE, I did have a moment when I felt FREEDOM in full-force. I’ll fill out details of the day, and throw in pictures, when I get back to desktop. I’ve already found a good combo/settings for a noisy restaurant environment and for listening to music over road noise. I’m a little overloaded for now, so choosing rest for the moment.

On our way to Indy. In the Mood (instrumental edition and GMB classic) is in my head. U2 ATYCLB is spinning in the CD deck. I can’t be on the cutting edge of everything in the world of electronic sound regeneration, afterall.

I’m getting my Cochlear Nucleus 22 ABI upgrade speech processor programmed in a few hours. And I’m blogging it.

Right now it’s cognitive. But then, I suppose it always is.

Maybe some substance later!

The long-running, and I’m sure, pretty common joke is to spell something out when (kids)/someone is in earshot rather than explicitly mentioning the topic. So while I was at my sister’s house yesterday and my BiL was sitting a few feet from her on the couch, I figured it would be tacky to mention Father’s Day, and coordinating plans, by name. So I started spelling it, just to be cute (and as an homage to another family member), and then it was funnier as I got beyond the third letter and attempts were made to piece it together.

I meant to tell my dad this story before he left for work today a few hours ago, but I forgot. It’s one that could be subtle in the telling, and therfore almost as funny as the moment it happened, but I’m lacking storytelling finesse at the moment.

Happy Dad’s Day all around! (And if you should have an aspiring athlete, she’ll always remember how cool it was to burn your hand with the power of her throws while playing catch. Although I’m kind of sorry he wasn’t joking like I usually suspected…)

Return of the Jedi. At least I predicted it tonight as soon as they chose it to watch with dinner, and so I was able to get their beds made before either fell asleep. This is crazy, though, it’s on VHS from when Star Wars was only a trilogy. And I’ve lost track of how many times they’ve watched, er, fallen asleep to it.

It’s more than that. A day of grace.

I thought I’d be kicking myself for not getting things checked out sooner, and then not being vigilant enough in follow-up. So I did overcompensate in follow-up, and have convinced myself to be quicker on the draw when minor ills present in the future.

I think things are working out again. What a mindgame that is, though, knowing how rapidly changes have come in the past. Sigh. It’s a luxury to forget the fluctuations in feelings of being well/ill. For too long, I just had to go along with it, and I was finally getting accustomed to shaping more of my days rather than other factors dictating them. I can talk tough now, at this moment. Yeah, I’ll go with that.

And that’s what pushes one to operate beyond routine. I don’t always acknowledge necessity like I should. Adapting and growing to get along well with what’s required let’s us look around some without falling.

Needle stabs have returned to my head on top of fatigue. This is not cool.

So I’m on anti-biotics for a respiratory infection. It’s a short cycle, to finish tomorrow (today). Hard to say they are the only cause, but along with that old feeling like there’s an energy leech attached to me all the time (which I did not miss as a norm!), I’m noticing an aberration while in the midst of a quasi-hypergraphic stint: My spelling’s gone awry. I’ll even spell things correctly at first, but they don’t look right, so then I change only to realize I had it correct to begin. But not always. And I’m recalling concepts and long-dormant mental soundtracks. They are likely linked, which I find tremendously exciting. I think that was the post I lost, too, reflections on Oliver Sacks’_Musicophilia_, and portions I could identify with, as well as things I’ve always suspected but lacked numerous empirical examples to give then much weight.

But today was talent-show-extrordinaire nephew D’s birthday party. My dad borrowed a friend’s enclosed trailer to haul a bath/shower unit to my sister’s house. They’re in the midst of major renovations. I wasn’t there at the time, but the story goes that my parents were proclaiming the trailer to have D’s birthday present, a pony, in it. (Flash to the Seinfeld episode with, “How was I supposed to know she had a pony? Who would leave a country where everyone has ponies?!)

I guess D was a step ahead: he was already extending thank yous for his “new car.”

“Truck show at I-80 truck stop. Might cause me 2 b an extra day l8.”

I tend to see him the least of all my doctors, and it’s always for something I try to grin and bear, but then hit a point like this morning. Yet, he’s there.

A+ for access, including the phone call to get in the same day, the office staff at check-in, the nurse who took me back, and then my dr. From structure to communication, everything was great despite being sick.

I’d write more, but I’m still beat.

In a little while…

It kind of figures. The day after I pop Liquid California in the tape deck, I receive confirmation on the first programming session for my Nucleus 22 ABI Freedom upgrade processor. The box came last week.

(pic insert; just see Flickr widget for now; also note marketing demographics: the hip youngsters on one side of box, and “mature” couple on the other side)

I haven’t had a chance to inspect the contents closely and play, er, learn about the components and accessories, but soon enough!

Other mechanical updates:

I’ve resumed my balance exercises. I’m amazed how much stability and flexibility have returned in my legs (as much as I’m nostalgic for my toned, muscular legs of youth). So, of course, I’m encouraging even more. (I couldn’t hold myself up, or get out of a chair or bed last March/May, and had to lean against the counter for teethbrushing.) That’s a rerun of prior recoveries, although at an extreme degree. That’s also after when I started being conscious of actions, I suppose. Weird, wild stuff…

My arms and hands were so weak. I wasn’t up to sitting at a computer, let alone typing. My left pinkie and ring fingers were limp, yet rigid. I could only reposition them with my other hand. Still, I kept up with this exercise where I touch the hand’s thumb to each fingertip, successively, concentrating on strength and accuracy. I’m guessing this builds dexterity. For both hands, improvements came slowly with time (perhaps aided with manual, deliberate teethbrushing). The left pinkie is still significantly weakened, but I’m now able to semi-straighten it (rather than it being in a perpetual claw form), as well as pull it into fist-form with the rest of the fingers. I did not expect that function to return. When I first started typing again, I had to use another finger to type zzzzs (a letter more commonly used by me than most people). I’m now happy to report my pinkie is handling the z beautifully.

All of this is icing on top of just living. I’m just mentioning it for others with various neurodegenerative diseases. My toes, feet, and lower legs are still fairly weak and lack the sensation and mobility of my younger days, but I don’t talk about the losses hardly ever. I do the exercises I can (the ones that don’t require any equipment, as I’ve mentioned before), and what happens is always icing. While I’m receptive to improvements, I’m always doing the best with what’s actually there now. I’m convinced of the effectiveness of momentum and inserting improvements to routine–making routine–for the purpose of body and behavior modification.

Laughing at myself here:
I’ve been wearing my ABI for hours and just now realized I didn’t turn on the power. So I’ve had no sound and didn’t realize it. I was about to make a phone call, then needed to look up more info. At least I wasn’t surprised it wasn’t working.

AKA, the Summer of Anti-George

This doesn’t mean I’m against George Costanza, unless of course the Cubs should face the Yankees in the World Series. Rather the contrast in circumstances and goals, as I perceive them at this time.

This is a good kick-off for now. I think I’ll probably have other things to blog about, so I’m hesitant to make my blog all about personal development over the next several months, and hopefully years. But then, there are a lot of unique aspects that will likely coalesce into an interesting constellation of thoughts and experiences, which I may actually be in a frame of mind to work out publicly.

For pleasure reading, on the side-of-the-side, I’ve started Umberto Eco’s The Mysterious Flame of Queen Loana. By started, I mean to say I’m only on the second chapter. It was a serendipitous find, a new copy for $5 in hardcover, at a local bargain bookstore. (I don’t have a severance package from the Yankees to bankroll my book buying, as much as I’m for supporting great works/minds/artists.) What makes a worthy novel is being able to identify with the protagonist, to empathize. Sometimes it’s in an abstract way that touches on universal themes. Sometimes details mirror more personal experiences, although maybe in converse ways. Sometimes it’s both. What’s interesting is that I’m dealing with the aftermath and continuing effects (and affects) of bilateral multilateral brain lesions and surgeries. It is only belatedly that I’ve come to realize the life-preserving function of behavior I engaged in that was, incidentally, healthier in the short and longer terms than banging my head against a brick wall, literally or metaphorically.

It still bothers me how much context flows through my mind, as I write, that I cannot manage to convey in a shortened and useful form. Still I’m setting out to revitalize both content and form. To merge them all. I am, largely optimistic. (This isn’t a broken record. There was merely a skip. Grand opportunities still abound.) I am primarily driven by various inspirations… and also more rationally fueled by readings in neuroscience over the last few years. Neural plasticity has certainly worked in my favor. Now to bring out the tools of another craft and synthesize it all again. (using the words… to bring things together, and to create something new, simultaneously; very cool.) Similar process, new product.