… family members feel utterly helpless, whether it be a parent, sibling, or child (seemingly or expected to be) suffering from any affliction. And we deflect the anger about the raw situation with the “if only,” as if changing all those other things would change the progression or outcome that already passed. And maybe some of them would, but who knows the right combination? There’s so much context that gets forgotten, or retrospectively added. Which perspective is privileged and which is silenced?
If we are still in it, then we have the opportunity to focus on all that s/he is doing (apparently) correctly, thereby reducing unnecessary suffering.
P.S. Yelling is counter-productive. And this is a general note on decades of observations and experiences.