This glacial till manifests plenty of ups and downs, over and again. I meant to record more highlights in the past few months. Today brought me back to the friendly therapy pool. Simply phenomenal to experience this current state-of-being in aquatic solace. Mighty fine and challenging workout, too. I trust in the timing of each element and variable of this recovery. T1-T12 on April 22, 2013.

Exceed expectations by working with time.
Cast doubt and discouragement aside. What actually happens constitutes the possible.

Thankful for the journey: all the in-between.

Wow. So many firsts and rich experiences since April. Time to start writing!

Just a snippet ffom today;

Added Tuesday PT session; standing on railed platform, nearly full weight on legs, let go to move each arm on D’s shoulders. Used own power to stand from chair.

Right effort prevailed

Process baby

Many thanks

“I’m glad my surgery is just a little over a week away. Good timing. No guarantees, but I am psyched up for relieving my spinal cord and nerve roots from so much compression. I can totally see this being like what my 1998 brain stem surgery did for me. That is best case, and I’ll focus on that and deal with what actually happens, like we always do.”

“In any moment, choose enduring emotions wisely.”

“Probabilistic treatment of uncertainties in the computational modeling of BNCT for brain tumors” by Christopher N Culbertson

http://docs.lib.purdue.edu/dissertations/AAI3104927/

http://www.biomedexperts.com/Profile.bme/277847/Christopher_N_Culbertson

http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0969804304002635

To be frank, a friend, brought my attention to this tonight, and the BNCT triggered a memory cascade*.

http://www.fiercebiotechresearch.com/story/new-cancer-radiation-treatment-has-no-harmful-side-effects-mice/2013-04-08?utm_campaign=SocialMedia

http://m.pnas.org/content/early/2013/03/27/1303437110

* Thankful for our NDSETS summer, before he rocked out at Purdue University.

CCIAS
SALSA

Triple OT to share a final free Big Mac with fans? Nowhere else but Notre Dame!

Loving the Heart of the Irish. Fierce as ever.

Local distance dedication to Skylar Diggins and her NDWBB sisters:

“What A Feeling” Lyrics by Irene Cara

First when there’s nothing but a slow glowing dream that your fear seems to hide deep inside your mind. All alone I have cried silent tears full of pride in a world made of steel,made of stone. Well, I hear the music,close my eyes, feel the rhythm,wrap around, take a hold of my heart. What a feeling. Bein’s believin’.I can have it all, now I’m dancing for my life. Take your passion and make it happen. Pictures come alive, you can dance right through your life. Now I hear the music,close my eyes, I am rhythm. In a flash it takes hold of my heart. What a feeling. Bein’s believin’.I can have it all, now I’m dancing for my life.[ From: http://www.elyrics.net ]Take your passion and make it happen. Pictures come alive, now I’m dancing through my life. What a feeling. What a feeling I AM MUSIC NOW Bein’s believin’. I AM RHYTHM NOW Pictures come alive, you can dance right through your life. What a feeling. YOU CAN REALLY HAVE IT ALL What a feeling. PICTURES COME ALIVE WHEN I CALLI can have it all I CAN REALLY HAVE IT ALL Have it all PICTURES COME ALIVE WHEN I CALLCALL CALL CALL CALL WHAT A FEELINGI can have it all BEIN’S BELIEVIN Bein’s believin’ TAKE YOUR PASSIONMAKE IT HAPPEN make it happen WHAT A FEELING what a feeling BEIN’S BELIEVIN’ (fade)Songwriter(s): Irene Cara, Giorgio Moroder, Keith Forsey Copyright: Wb Music Corp., Alcor Music (usa), Sony/Atv Harmony, Carub Music

Retrieved 3/4/13 from
http://www.elyrics.net/read/i/irene-cara-lyrics/what-a-feeling-lyrics.html

Too late to hunt for my trackback, but smooth timing to witness embodiment of a classic Przybysz quote. What an exquisite night of synchronicity arising after equally sad and joyous life events. with life, we take it all, embrace it, and feel humbled for every opportunity. Intrinsic Motivation
S.A.L.S.A.!

Triple OT to share a final free Big Mac with fans? Nowhere else but Notre Dame!

Loving the Heart of the Irish. Fierce as ever.

Local distance dedication to Skylar Diggins and her NDWBB sisters:

“What A Feeling” Lyrics by Irene Cara

First when there’s nothing but a slow glowing dream that your fear seems to hide deep inside your mind. All alone I have cried silent tears full of pride in a world made of steel,made of stone. Well, I hear the music,close my eyes, feel the rhythm,wrap around, take a hold of my heart. What a feeling. Bein’s believin’.I can have it all, now I’m dancing for my life. Take your passion and make it happen. Pictures come alive, you can dance right through your life. Now I hear the music,close my eyes, I am rhythm. In a flash it takes hold of my heart. What a feeling. Bein’s believin’.I can have it all, now I’m dancing for my life.[ From: http://www.elyrics.net ]Take your passion and make it happen. Pictures come alive, now I’m dancing through my life. What a feeling. What a feeling I AM MUSIC NOW Bein’s believin’. I AM RHYTHM NOW Pictures come alive, you can dance right through your life. What a feeling. YOU CAN REALLY HAVE IT ALL What a feeling. PICTURES COME ALIVE WHEN I CALLI can have it all I CAN REALLY HAVE IT ALL Have it all PICTURES COME ALIVE WHEN I CALLCALL CALL CALL CALL WHAT A FEELINGI can have it all BEIN’S BELIEVIN Bein’s believin’ TAKE YOUR PASSIONMAKE IT HAPPEN make it happen WHAT A FEELING what a feeling BEIN’S BELIEVIN’ (fade)Songwriter(s): Irene Cara, Giorgio Moroder, Keith Forsey Copyright: Wb Music Corp., Alcor Music (usa), Sony/Atv Harmony, Carub Music

Retrieved 3/4/13 from
http://www.elyrics.net/read/i/irene-cara-lyrics/what-a-feeling-lyrics.html

Too late to hunt for my trackback, but smooth timing to witness embodiment of a classic Przybysz quote. What an exquisite night of synchronicity arising after equally sad and joyous life events. with life, we take it all, embrace it, and feel humbled for every opportunity. Intrinsic Motivation
S.A.L.S.A.!

So here’s the deal:
I prefer working with people, cooperatively, to get things done, increase inclusion and accessibility.

I do this rather quietly, incorporating changes as a matter of routine, except for instances when obvious railroading or ignorance arise. At such times, I most certainly do account for the perspectives, assumptions, and constraints taken by co-interactors. At the same time, I realize the majority of individuals I encounter are not interested in a multi-level viewpoint, or the big picture wherein what I am advocating and trying advance also furthers their immediate and long term interest. There is no substitute for the raised level of consciousness of embodying devalued states of existence.

A week after a most injurious betrayal, and a day after Reverend King’s call to action, we are regrouping:

“The task is equally noble, whether conceived as play or work, simple or difficult. Have Fun!”
“Steps forward and back are fine with me–that’s all dancing is.” ~Jamie

“There is nothing that wastes the body like worry, and one who has any faith in God should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever” ~Mahatma Gandhi

“I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish humble tasks as though they were great and noble. The world is moved along, not only by the mighty shoves of its heroes, but also by the aggregate of the tiny pushes of each honest worker.” ~Helen Keller

“1. Out of clutter, find simplicity. 2. From discord, find harmony. 3. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” ~Albert Einstein

Dalai Lama: “The ultimate source of a happy life is warm-heartednes­s. This means extending to others the kind of concern we have for ourselves. On a simple level we find that if we have a compassionate heart we naturally have more friends. And scientists today are discovering that while anger and hatred eat into our immune system, warm-heartednes­s and compassion are good for our health.”

“The practice of patience guards us against losing our presence of mind. It enables us to remain undisturbed, even when the situation is really difficult. It gives us a certain amount of inner peace, which allows us some self-control, so that we can choose to respond to situations in an appropriate and compassionate manner, rather than being driven by our disturbing emotions.” ~Dalai Lama

“A compassionate attitude helps you communicate more easily with your fellow human beings. As a result, you make more genuine friends and the atmosphere around you is more positive, which gives you greater inner strength. This inner strength helps you spontaneously concern yourself with others, instead of thinking only about yourself.” ~Dalai Lama

Mudita (Pāli and Sanskrit: मुदित) in Buddhism is joy. It is especially sympathetic or vicarious joy, the pleasure that comes from delighting in other people’s well-being
~~~~~~~~~

“An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.”
“And it is again my deep conviction that ultimately a genuine leader is not a searcher of consensus, but a molder of consensus.”

“There are some things concerning which we must always be maladjusted if we are to be people of good will. We must never adjust ourselves to racial discrimination and racial segregation. We must never adjust ourselves to religious bigotry. We must never adjust ourselves to economic conditions that take necessities from the many to give luxuries to the few. We must never adjust ourselves to the madness of militarism, and the self-defeating effects of physical violence.”

~Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr

Dalai Lama ~
“It is important that when pursuing our own self-interest we should be “wise selfish” and not “foolish selfish”. Being foolish selfish means pursuing our own interests in a narrow, shortsighted way. Being wise selfish means taking a broader view and recognizing that our own long-term individual interest lies in the welfare of everyone. Being wise selfish means being compassionate.”

“In the face of all the challenges we face today, is my optimism about the future of humanity idealistic? Perhaps it is. Is it unrealistic? Certainly not. To remain indifferent to the challenges we face is indefensible. If the goal is noble, whether or not it is realized within our lifetime is largely irrelevant. What we must do therefore is to strive and persevere and never give up.”
“The nature of the mind is such that if certain mental qualities are developed on a sound basis, they not only remain, but they also increase. In fact, once properly developed, the mind’s good qualities eventually increase indefinitely. Therefore spiritual practice brings us long-term happiness and inner strength.”

“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.”  ~Mary Engelbreit

“To know that I am nothing, that is wisdom. To know that I am everything, that is love. And between these two my life moves.” ~Nisargadatta Maharaj

We love it when people ask us how we’re feeling, rather than telling us how they think we are doing. We love it even more when they listen to our response, and receive it in the genuine, sincere sense it is expressed. “I love you,” builds. “I worry (all the time)” destroys. If worry is a manifestation of love, then why not cut to the chase, and just love, building up strength in all?

Recurring themes:

gems and selective memory

culprit = fear; in case it helps anyone

… because it’s what Jordan taught us.

Pain is exhausting. I still tire fast/out of nowhere, dealing with tumor load, but I’m not rundown 24/7 like I was. I went through years and years of that chronic pain. Never did find a pain med that solved that (being at Notre Dame and around my nephews were great consolations, and I did learn a lot from experiencing that invisible load). At one point, after two more meds had turned on me, I insisted to local neurologist and then the pain clinic specialist, that I wanted to pursue working on movement, strength, and exercise. Both of them still insisted I try more meds. No thank you–I just kept going about my passions, like you are. FINALLY got my therapy on after another few years of pain, and going through the wringer with meningioma surgery (times three). Miracle of all, between recoveries and alleviation of most of the pain. True, much is gone due to numbness and lowered sensitivity, but here I am in the position of possibly acquiring more (hopefully short-term) pain with this surgery, than what I have going in. This is a first, other than my very first surgery. I do have the alleviation of pressure on my entire spinal cord, and more, to gain short and long term. I don’t think I’d be alive if we had started spinal surgeries on me in my teens, and I’m so thankful for even the advancements in knowledge and experience in even the past five years, not to mention the cumulative tools and resilience I’ve built over 22 years. The timing is feeling right.

Thanks for getting me on a roll, and listening. It’s always surprising how things work out over time. We are bombarded with messages that everything just gets worse with age/disease course/yada yada, and it totally neglects the reality of how adaptive our bodies and minds are. Tap your potential and give yourself some credit for how well you are holding up, all things considered. I hope your appointments go well, and your energy level picks up while pain plummets.

Love and Hugs,

If one is not magnifying the positives and minimizing the negatives, then one is wasting an opportunity to maximize human potential and happiness.

Who forces themself to relive the worst moments of their life, over and over, but none of the best? Why? How may we help them? What are the hazards of helping?

Perspective at every level and scale.

A mighty thank you to Chris Uggen for taking what was in my head, and supporting intuitions with sources. Be sure to read his well-measured post, and all links.

http://chrisuggen.blogspot.com/2012_12_01_archive.html#18

*

http://dalailama.com/messages/transcripts/universal-responsibility-modern-world

Transcript of His Holiness’s Public Talk on Universal Responsibility in the Modern World Royal Albert Hall, London, United Kingdom, May 22, 2008
+++++
On 12/22/2012 add
HT to Fabio Rojas at

social isolation and school shootings


for sharing an article highlighting Bernice Pescosolido’s comments:
“Tight-knit communities a factor in many shootings, IU sociologist says”

http://www.heraldtimesonline.com/mobile/spweb/?d=/stories/2012/12/18/news.tight-knit-communities-a-factor-in-shootings-iu-sociologist-says.sto

+++++
Added 12/23/12;
Dec 19 comment from Walt French at

A Broader-based Response to Shootings

+++++
One nation, under the gun. by Jill Lepore April 23, 2012

http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2012/04/23/120423fa_fact_lepore

Tea and honey

(Even simpler than the process paper I wrote for layered Jell-O, for 12th grade English)

Shared with family member* who needed directions, and inspired by my nephews:

1[encircled] MAKE HOT TEA

2[encircled] ADD HONEY, STIR & SERVE

* Highly intelligent male, with irrational fear of kitchen activities; always exceeds expectations despite reluctant attitude, AKA “Popcorn King”

Howie is out with the P. Zambrano-inspired game show. I have the sick-person’s dilemma: how to sufficiently praise the substitute honey tea maker, without diminishing the level of appreciation and praise for the original honey tea maker.

Howie and Chris *rock* as sociologists.

I may have alluded to it, but I would need to check whether I cited it.

“But [Dr.] Horn said he believes Peyton will be back. ‘A lot of what dictates how people heal is their mental makeup,’ Horn said. ‘There’s no doubt he’s got a pretty strong mental makeup, and he’s got a great amount of fortitude and determination.’ ”
From “Surgeon gives insight into Manning’s possible problems*” retrieved on December 1, 2012, from
http://www.wishtv.com/dpp/sports/colts_and_nfl/surgeon-gives-insight-into-mannings-possible-problems

* Updated: Wednesday, 15 Feb 2012, 4:16 PM EST Published: Tuesday, 06 Sep 2011, 6:42 PM EDT

Dr. Horn is my spinal surgeon at Goodman Campbell Brain and Spine. I am preparing questions for him, and recalled the Peyton Manning link prior to our initial meeting. PM has been playing for Denver since then, and I have quipped to myself and in passing to others, about using his outcome as a sort of barometer in contemplating the timing of any surgery to address tumors and cysts compressing substantial portions of my spinal cord. (As amusing an anecdote as that may serve, I have a matrix of time-varying covariates at play–the greatest of which are quite serious. Always remember: laughter is a healing force in itself.) There are many fascinating asides here, but suffice it to say Dr. Lou places a whole lot of stock in fundamentals and preparation, while never neglecting the importance of INTANGIBLES. Come to find out, PM was born in the same year as I was, and we have more in common than I would have guessed when he was a QB for that orange-colored uniform school.

I am a fan of intangibles**, I am bringing quite the mental orientation and experience necessary for Team Przybysz to shine. Glad to know it factors into coach’s play book.

Now is the time to be receptive to the positive unknowns.

** Many folks saw Manti Te’o pushing the broom at the basketball game. I noticed him costumed as one of the zamboni drivers at the hockey game. TCB

Shout-out to Sky and NDWBB, following elevator ride with Assistant Coach Beth Morgan Cunningham. (No inadvertent autograph, as with the Hesburgh/Joyce elevator moment.)

GO IRISH!

What is the answer to challenges and adversity?

Thank you for the exercises.
Form does not negate content. Understanding emerges through experience, not limited observation. (Deep study and engagement, or teaching and learning via playfulness equals a far better alternative route.)

Concerns about repetition or speaking to a child with the same level of respect given adults?
GHM reflections

S.A.L.S.A.!

HT: IKZ